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I yielded to her earnest
persuasion and by the united exertions of My Dear Old Mother and my brother
James, succeeded in getting my present situation as infirmary warder in the
County Gaol of Surrey, Newington. James had left the army previous to myself and
is now holding a similar situation in the “House of Correction Wandsworth”. It
is about eight years since I enlisted and during that time nature had done its
duty and left me both taller and stouter with a fair share of hair upon my upper
lip this, with a suit of true blue I commenced my new career in the year AD
1851.
I cannot say that I liked it at first, the confinement did
not agree with my roving disposition, for we only enjoyed the sweets of liberty
three hours out of every forty eight. This was not enough for me, who has used
of late to keep a Saint Monday or two occasionally so I resolve to take a little
French leave and for which I got a severe reprimand. Not long after I did so
again, this was too bad and although our Governor, a kind and humane man, let me
off with the first he was obliged to make an example of me by bringing me before
the monthly committee of visiting Justices. Here my usual luck again attended
me and I got off scott free, but was advised not to do so again or the loss of
my situation would be the consequence. I therefore determined to get spliced and
all things had gone on pretty smoothly between me and the little honeysuckle at
Chobham. Why we tied ourselves into a knot and by this means cured me of my
roving disposition and settled me down to my present calling.
It may be interesting to the readers if I gave them a small
sketch of the impression this place made on me as I entered on my new duties,
and also a few of the most prominent of the prisoners both the debtors and
criminals that came under my charge.
The infirmary of the prison to which I belong, is situated
on the east side within the walls of the above place and stands apart from the
remainder of the building. It consists of two wards downstairs, my own room, and
the surgery, these wards being occasionally occupied by sick debtors. The upper
floor being set apart for the sick criminals, consisted of two large wards and
two small. The latter appointed to those cases of skin diseases which require
the treatment of sulphur & treacle and a coating of the same external, which
produces altogether not a very agreeable odour but this I ultimately became
accustomed to. On my first introduction to this place of honour, as I then
thought it was, took place on a Sunday morning. The doctor at the time was
sitting in the surgery attending to his patients and I was introduced to this
man of the pills and I shall never forget his scrutinising look as he gazed at
me from head to foot. What his thoughts were, I could not define not being a
sufficient judge of physiognomy to read them from his small piercing black eyes
I will give you a rough sketch of my own as he ordered the other officer out of
the room who had been on trial for a month & did not suit, while I underwent my
medical examination his first question was whether I could read and write I
answered in the affirmative he showed me a prescription to read that was to be
made up for one of the patients he had just seen I assured him that I did not
understand Latin as I had left college before I had completed my education in
that respect he said that would do providing I was quick & willing to learn I
told him I would do my best to make myself acquainted with the mysteries of the
pestle and mortar to which I readily set to work as soon as he had left. I had
certainly the rudiments of a plain education, not sufficient to comprehend the
task I had undertaken. This puzzled me a great deal and bewildered my poor brain
until I became ill with diarrhoea. Here then, was a chance to commence my
medical skill, so I had observed the bottles he had used for a similar complaint
that morning, and partook of the same myself. However, forgetting the directions
for use, so instead of taking small quantities at intervals, I took the whole
bottle-full at once. This proved a lesson for me for the future as I had taken
an over-dose of Laudnum, which soon put me to sleep and my prisoners had to take
charge of them-selves. I however, got over this with my usual luck and
determined to be more careful for the future.
Amongst the debtors under my charge was an old Frenchman
who played a conspicuous part as Colonel in some of the many battles which
Bonaparte fought with ourselves and continental neighbours. He left his native
country as an exile when the Bourbon Family were replaced after the Battle of
Waterloo and from this Old man, I gleaned much information and should have done
more so had he not had an attack of paralysis which deprived him of the free use
of his speech. He could speak no less than seven languages. I afterwards took
him to Walworth union where I often visited him as he had no other friend on
earth. He used to beg of me to take him back to prison again; he preferred it to
the workhouse for he had been confined in the prison sixteen years and
considered it his home.
I had several other debtors; one “Pickering”, blind and
insane; and another “Preston”, also insane; and a young fellow, “Festil” in the
last stage of consumption. These, with myself and man nurse, were the occupants
of the debtors wards. Finding that “Preston” was restless and noisy in the
night, so much so that “Festil” could not sleep, I reported it to the surgeon
who ordered him to be removed upstairs in the criminal ward with three criminal
prisoners. One of imbecile mind and an elderly man “John Hodges” who was
suffering from indisposition and man nurse, I locked them up at the usual hour
and proceeded to my own sleeping apartments, which were situated under the above
ward and next to the debtors. We did not have the gas laid on at this time;
consequently we were obliged to burn oil in the lamps which often went out
before morning. At about four o’clock the next morning, I was awakened with a
violent knocking proceeding from the criminal ward above. I slipped on my
trousers and was not long in reaching the scene of action, unbolting the door I
entered the room which I found quite dark and the lamp out. To my great surprise
I saw “Preston” with a large oak pail (which the nurse used for cleaning the
wards) flourishing over his head and the poor fellow “Hodges”, lying partly off
the bed with his brains protruding through his skull and six or seven cuts on
the left arm, which had been used to protect his head until it was broken by the
repeated blows. Of course it was but the work of a moment, before I disarmed
“Preston” and secured him on the floor. He instantly acknowledged to his
murdering the man “Hodges”, but said he had a wooden head therefore he had not
hurt him. I gave the alarm and immediately had assistance at hand, when the
Governor had him removed to another part of the building. The nurse was, during
this time, under the bed almost frightened to death. This was the first incident
that occurred after entering on my new career and nearly made me call up my old
patron St.Crisben to my aid, for I found many of my duties as infirmary warder
far from pleasant. “Robson”, the great Crystal Palace forger and swindler,
became my next character for, besides my infirmary duties I was called on
occasionally to perform other duties in the interior of this establishment .When
we had any notorious characters enter the building, we were called upon in
rotation to sit in the strong room or condemned cell and watch them for a term
stated by the Governor.
My first was the prisoner I just alluded to. He was a tall
well built, good looking, a gentlemanly fellow and one, by his easy frank
manner, calculated to make the time fly away merrily as he generally conversed
about his case. He would give us some brief interesting tale of his past
adventures, which were highly amusing as we all know what style and grandeur he
lived in, supported by his gigantic swindle which he practised upon the public.
My next was a prisoner committed with his wife for the
murder of their two infant children. “Mr. & Mrs. Bacon”. I cannot say much of
him except he looked like what he was tried for, the murder of his two children.
He used to strongly assert his innocence, which I afterwards found to be the
case with nearly all I came in contact with.
In my duties in this capacity, Christian Salter (n.b.
from Ray Watts 2007, recent research has shown the surname to be Satter)
became my next (A German) for shooting Thaine, a Police Officer on his way to
this country for a robbery he committed at a Railway Terminus, before his
departure for Hamburg. This fellow, although well educated and brought up to the
Profession of Engineer and Surgeon, was a most clever penman, preferred the
crook fingered way of getting his living rather than the more honest for which
his talents so well suited him. He was a most singular looking chap, squinting
with both eyes and a most peculiar shaped head. He feely acknowledged to the
awful deed and seemed to meet his coming fate with a spirit of bravado, rather
than that of humility. I have often heard him declare he would not care if they
were going to hang him directly. His excuse for shooting this man “Thaine”, was
because he had broke faith with him in not taking the handcuffs off of him, as
he had promised to do when out at sea. He would, while we were in his cell,
keep us in a roar of laughter by telling us many amusing anecdote in his half
broken English, he was afterwards hung at Newgate where he acknowledged the
justice of his sentence and died a true penitent.
And now to my own department again the infirmary where my
attention was called to a deserter from one of the Light Cavalry regiments. We
had a great many of these during the Crimean war and Indian mutiny. He was, as
we used to call it in the army, acting silly and so well did he perform this old
dodge that he baffled all their medical skill both military and civil and
succeeded in getting his discharge from this place, I will just give a specimen
of the treatment he underwent and all to no purpose. First we cut off all is
hair thinking it was a brain disease and blistered him on the back of his neck.
This had no effect so he was ordered a shower bath once a day; this we did not
happen to have so we used to strip him and pour two pails of water on his head
and spine, in the presence of the surgeon. I remember the first occasion wel,l
I was pouring the first pail over him when he took a leap out of the common bath
we used for that purpose, rushed against the surgeon knocking him down and
bolting upstairs, but only to be brought back again. This daily operation
continued; I was afterwards told by the prisoners who were placed in the ward to
look after him, that when my back was turned he used to jump out of bed take his
seat by the fire and keep them highly amused by laying down a programme of his
numerous silly tricks which he intended to play us after. When he obtained his
freedom he laughed in his sleeve to think how nicely he had done us.
I trust I shall not tire the readers patience by relating
too many of these little incidents connected with my history and adventures, if
so I hope they will pardon my indiscretions as there are a few others I cannot
let slip my pen.
Among them was one “Dan Cummings”, an Irishman who took it
into his head to act mad. He commenced with the gardener, who set him to pick
off the slugs from a plot of cauliflowers which were then growing in the garden.
Dan left all the slugs on and picked off all the nice young sprouts and ate
them, which made him very ill. So poor Dan was handed over to me and the
straight jacket called in question, as he became very violent and tore the
unmentionables of my latter end, as I was about to put him under restraint, I
had two Artillerymen deserters to look after him and they behaved more
honourable than my last nurses and told me Dan was shamming. The escort arrived
from their regiment and relieved me of my two worthy gunners, but before
leaving, they gave Dan a good dressing down and told him they had split on him
this brought him to his senses and I was relieved of a very troublesome
character. He was charged with throwing an old gentleman out of a railway
carriage, when going through a dark tunnel, after robbing him of his watch, etc.
Occasionally some of our ladies would break out and become
refractory (unmanageable and obstinate) and then my physical powers would
be called into practice to place them in a dark cell and supply them with their
food and give them in their beds. On one occasion, when I went to remove the bed
of one and give her in her morning meal, consisting of half pound of bread and a
pint of water, I found her in a state of nudity. She had tore up the whole of
her bed and bedding and was rattling out an Irish jig on the stone floor, with
her bare feet. This was a duty I did not, like for they seemed to me more like
demons connected with that horrible place, rather than a portion of the fair
sex. I would much rather face a man, no matter how violent, than one of these
refractory women. This did not occur often, especially after our prison was
altered in to one of separate confinement, it then became better for all parties
more especially the female warder who previous to this were subject to hear the
grossest of bad language.
Soon after, Dr. Thomas Smithurst (n.b. from Ray Watts
2007, recent research has shown the surname to be Smithers) became a member
of our college under very painful circumstances if innocent. He was charged
with poisoning Mrs. Isabella Banks; he was tried at the Old Bailey, sentenced to
death and was sent back to this prison to be hung. I again had the honour of
doing duty in the condemned cell at certain hours and I am not going to give my
opinion as to were I thought him guilty of this serious charge, because we are
brought into so close a connection with cases of this sort and should prove too
lenient to judge of them. The Doctor was a gentlemanly good looking man rather
past the middle age and had a stiff knee joint, which made him walk lame and
deprived him of much of that gallantry, he would otherwise have shown, had he
the use of this limb. But this did not tend to destroy his most easy manner and
his general flow of conversation, which he kept up with some warmth, arguing and
continually protesting his innocence. His chief time was taken up in writing to
his friends and corresponding with the medical fraternity outside and to this,
he owes the preservation of his life, I have often held long discourses with him
about his case. I, having by this time, obtained some knowledge of medicine took
a warm interest in it, he seemed thoroughly to understand the whole propensities
of the medicine he had administered to this unfortunate lady, and with the
assistance of several eminent surgeons, managed to raise a doubt in the case
which resulted in his getting a respite and afterwards a reprieve. During the
fortnight he lay here under the sentence of death, I never witnessed a more calm
self possessed man in my existence. I was sitting with him on the Friday
evening, previous to the Tuesday he was to have been hung, conversing with him.
He was as calm as if the awful doom that awaited him was a mere nothing not
worth his consideration, when the Governor and other officials entered the cell
with a large official letter and communicated to him the joyful news of his
respite. I fixed my eye upon him expecting to see him faint or swoon away at
receiving such joyful intelligence, no not a muscle of his face moved, but with
his usual clam manner expressed his surprise instead of his respite.
Soon after this, among my numerous patients, was an
Austrian who was suffering from an abscess and not considered sufficiently ill
to be brought to the infirmary. It was my duty to see that he was attended to
in his cell; my man nurse took him a linseed poultice out of which he managed to
scrape enough to make a globe and it was considered to be nearly correct by
those who had a knowledge of geography. The surgeon ordered him beer, which I
took in a can and happened to leave it in his cell, when we aroused in the night
by hearing a flute or whistle being played inside which he had made from the
can. He actually contrived to keep a light burning in his cell during the night,
by skimming the fat from off his soup, breaking one of the medicine bottles into
two and drawing the cotton from his sheets, which made a sufficient light to
read by. His next object was to have a little company with him in his lonely
cell, so from the wire gauze we have in the doors, he managed to extract
sufficient (without it being observed) to make a small cage in which he put a
fly. So tame did this little insect become that it would come down in the corner
of its cage to be fed by its master. He also made a complete hammer engine from
cardboard and pins so that it would work. His next object was to contrive by
some means, to weigh all his food to see that he had a proper quantity. In this
he succeeded so well, that he could tell even to a grain or two. He obtained his
weight by borrowing a penny from another prisoner, who had it secreted about
him, all these and many other tricks did he perform with an old piece of tin and
a few pins which constituted his tools.
And now I am sorry to say I must retrace my steps again to
the condemned cell, where there awaits my presence another victim to his evil
passions. The young man I am about to speak about is “William Youngman”,
charged with murdering his Mother, two brothers, and his sweetheart, a young
woman he had enticed away from her friends with the intension of marrying her.
All these murders did he commit for the sake of obtaining a few pounds. He was
in height, about five feet seven inches, fair complexion, grey eyes, and a
narrow shaped head and had something of the appearance of a footman. He was
sullen and morose in his manner, seldom or ever alluded to his case, or if he
entered into conversation, he must have all his own way or he would show his
temper. I remember arguing with him one day about the Lords Prayer, he seemed to
have some very peculiar notions on religion, but some days after this he was
reading the bible. I had left it open upon the table from which I took a glance
and I saw that he had been reading from Job from the 1st. chapter up
to the 10th., it was very applicable to his case. He made a very good
attempt at escape when under the sentence of death. Although in charge of two
warders, he made an excuse to go to the closet which was a portable one kept in
an empty cell next to the one he occupied. One of the warders stepped into this
cell to light the gas and the other that was left with him in the cells, he
asked to get him a drink of water out of the other cell opposite. He complied
with his request, when he slammed both doors together and as they are all spring
locks, of course shut them both in and was making the best of his way out when
one of the warders hearing the noise from another part of the building, hastened
to the spot met him and soon walked him back again and released the other
warders who kept their weather eye upon him afterwards, On the Sunday before he
was hung our Chaplain the Reverend J. Jessup M.A. preached his condemned sermon
which was in the following impressive words.
The text was St Luke 22nd
Chap 3rd verse.
(note from Ray Watts 2007, this sermon is appended at the end of this document,
as it is very wordy, but worth reading, as it had a profound effect on all who
heard it except the condemned man himself).
I should not have trespassed in recording this sermon in
with my simple narrative, but from the most impressive manner in which it was
delivered by our worthy Chaplain and the impression it left on my mind from
which I hope it will never be obliterated. In fact, such was the awful solemn
silence that reigned in our small chapel at the time. Until he addressed him
personally, when every heart became full even to bursting and the sobs broke
forth from all present. Not a dry eye was there on this sad morning, except
one, and that was the condemned culprit who stood as white as marble and as firm
as the church he was standing in. None, but the hardened whose heart was
hard enough to commit such fearful deeds, could have stood and heard such solemn
language without sinking to the ground, but such was the obduracy he showed on
that occasion that the Chaplain did fail in trying to soften his hard heart,
although he succeeded in melting others that were there to all appearance as
hardened has his only in crimes of less magnitude.
On the night before his execution, I was introduced to the
celebrated “Calcraft” (of whom I had heard so much, but had never seen). He was
a comely looking man about fifty and very unlike what I expected to find in the
man who holds such an unenviable position. In the evening, a strange young man
applied at the Gaol gate to be allowed an introduction to “Calcraft” the
hangman. The porter assured him it would not be granted within the gates, but
however he would not be defeated, but returned to the charge with half dozen of
wine and as we required a stimulant to keep up our spirits on these sad
occasions, this was too great a temptation to be resisted. So he was let into
our mess room at the Lodge where he, (Calcraft) was sitting recounting to us
some of the many lives he had taken away by the hand of the law. The porter told
him that this interesting personage had not yet arrived. He took a seat and
spent the evening in the presence of Calcraft, without being aware of it;
finding no one else arrived he became impatient to behold this man of horrors,
to the great amusement of us all calling him with sundry loathsome names not fit
to mention with my pen, little thinking he had been sitting with him the whole
evening. At 11 o’clock we locked the gates for the night and retired for bed,
but previous to our breaking up, we gave this young man an introduction to
Calcraft when he opened his eyes and tried to stammer out an apology, which was
good humourously granted and he left the Gaol greatly delighted with his
entertainment.
To show my readers that roguery and deception is not always
confined to our criminal department, I will give as brief a sketch as I possibly
can, of an old debtor who was lame. He was a short dirty looking fellow, but
evidently a man who had seen better days. His name was Samuel Green, but not
green by nature as the following narrative will show. He had been confined here
about two years and had become thoroughly acquainted with the rules and
regulations. He was by profession, a lawyer so he used to lay wait for all new
comers and instil into their minds the many little awful dodges he was capable
of himself. In return, exacted from them what tobacco and money they happened to
possess and among the more superstitious, he used to practise the art of telling
their fortunes with cards, of course not in the presence of any official as
cards are strictly forbidden. Among the many victims that fell into his
clutches, was one a publican and such was the ascendancy he obtained over this
man, by the use of cards, he made him believe that his detaining creditor was
carrying on a secret correspondence with his wife and that they were about to
sell his business, depart for America and that his incarceration had taken place
with the consent of his wife to give greater facility for carrying out their
designs. For this information this flat of a fellow gave him a sovereign and a
suit of clothes in which Mr. Green soon attired himself and struck us all with
astonishment for I verily believe that he had washed his face that morning, a
thing he had not done for some considerable time before and looked quite the
gentleman. But fate had ordained that Mr. Green’s glory was not to be of long
duration, for the impression he had made on this weak minded fellow was too much
for him to bear, so he wrote to an Inspector of the Police and authorised him to
go and prevent his wife’s departure. He went and made her acquainted with his
unpleasant business, which struck the poor innocent woman with astonishment and
they proceeded to the gaol together to find out if possible, the founder of this
false information. They saw the Governor who immediately sent for her husband to
his Office, where he fully acknowledged, in their presence by what means he
obtained it. “Green” was sent for and was also brought, but when the woman saw
him with her husbands clothes on, she flew at him in something the style of a
tigress and would have left poor Green, featherless had not the Governor, with
the assistance of the Inspector, prevented her. But not then, until she had
managed to tear the coat, vest and shirt off from him, before they had succeeded
in getting her away. If they had left her another minute Green would have been
left without no other raiment than the one he was born in. He was marched back
to his quarters and requested to give up the money. He persisted that he had
spent it, however they succeeded in getting the quarter portion of it, some was
sewn up in his blankets and the other hid about different parts of his cell.
In my present capacity as infirmary warder both Debtors and
Criminals, when ill, came under my charge. The former class of prisoners are
chiefly men of business and of good education and most of them I find to be very
honourable men but had met with ill luck and misfortune in their affairs and
have been incarcerated here for debt. I often felt for many of the wives and
families of those cases, for they are in general the greatest sufferers. The
debtor is well housed, fed and kept warm, while his wife and family are thrown
on the cold world without a protection to meet it’s frowns and buffets and
often, in a state of starvation. Many, many pounds of bread has there been taken
from this place of supposed punishment, to starving families outside, but such
is the vindictiveness of many of their creditors that they will suck the last
drop of their blood before they will grant them their freedom.
On the other hand there a great number who come in here to
commit fraud and cheat their creditors and general speaking, these are the men
who get out of their difficulties soonest as they are men of the world and have
made themselves thoroughly acquainted with the art of evading the law while, the
more honest are content to strive for a honest living and leave the rigid law to
take it’s own course.
I have had about ten debtors, during the time I have been
here, fallen victims to consumption. This is not a great number considering we
have had about 3911 committed here during that time and most of those were ill
on entering the prison. To this I ascribe the excellent medical treatment and
kind attention they receive when ill. Our surgeon visits the gaol daily, where
there is a list of sick applications awaiting his arrival of both classes of the
criminals. Many of those is what we call schemers and so well do they manage it,
by knocking their elbow against the wall and by licking the whitewash from them,
together with a few pills which they make of their soap, that they baffle all
medical skill to detect them and this is chiefly done to get a change in the
diet. There are many other tricks, too numerous to mention, of which they are
guilty of to obtain this object.
Among the debtors that came under my charge was a very fat
Old Doctor, who would persist in having the gout on purpose to get into the
infirmary. He was a good humoured snuff taking gentlemanly man and no doubt,
quite competent to deceive a fellow member of the Royal College, but to act lame
for any time was too much for the old chap as he would forget himself jump up
and start round the room. This without his stick, at a good brisk pace and until
he was reminded of it by some fellow chums asking him how the gout was, when the
old Doctor would fall lame and require some assistance to get him back to his
bed again. To this old gent I am indebted for some useful information in the
knowledge of medicines and their use, as now my reader must understand that my
propensity for snobbing has quite left me and a new one taken it’s place. For my
ambition now, is to become as much as a quack as I possibly can and as my duties
are to dispense all the medicines and administer them, why I have plenty of
scope for my new profession.
And now to the criminal wards where I have a peculiar case
of stubbornness; perhaps you have never had such a disease at least not a
dangerous one, but this is one the worst sort. This fellow was a Spaniard, he
was remanded here for obtaining money under false pretences. The first night he
tried to hang himself in his cell, but was prevented by one of the warders who
placed him in another cell with two other prisoners to look after him. As there
was no means at hand by which he could take his life, he tried to starve himself
to death. For the first five days he did not take any food, when the surgeon
ordered me to put him on his back, hold his nose and by stopping his breath, try
and pour beef tea down his throat. In this, I could not succeed so I got a
funnel, put it into his mouth and filled it and the wretch blew this into my
face and nearly blinded me. He continued on, in this state for sixteen days and
I really expected he would die, but the Doctor took him in hand and used the
stomach pump. So we used to gag him every day and pump a pint and half of beef
tea into his stomach; with this and a shower bath every morning, we managed at
the end of a month, to subdue his stubborn temper, He was tried and sent to
Wandsworth House of Correction, where he gave them the same amount of trouble
and after he came out he paid us a second visit and the first night he cut his
throat, by breaking the handle off of his drinking can and sharpened it on the
stone floor. In this he nearly succeeded and so determined was he, in his
hellish designs, that he went through all I have just related, a second time.
Such was the stubbornness of this fellow that nothing but the extreme debility
that he lowered himself to, would end this evil passion.
Among the many diseases that was brought into the
infirmary, was a prisoner with Typhoid Fever more commonly called gastric fever
of course my duties were to see that this poor fellow was properly attended to.
I can say with truth, that I did my duty, he recovered and I fell a victim to
this pestilence myself with two of my fellow officers. One of which was our
school master, a good kind hearted man, who only lingered a few days before
death came claimed it’s victim; he was mourned and regretted by all. This was a
narrow escape for my brother officer and self, who was now lying in great danger
and not expected to recover. But thanks to that Great Friend above, who rules
all things and the kind attention I received from my dear wife and mother,
together with my numerous acquaintances who did not forsake me in the hour of
need,I was restored to health after an illness of two monthsand am still left to
render assistance to others should misfortune bring them within our walls.
To give a full account of all the individual refractory
prisoners, or attempt to illustrate the numerous incidents that has taken place
during my occupation (which is now about seven years) would take a much larger
volume and a more able nib than mine. Those I have introduced in my narrative
are those that have been under my immediate charge in the infirmary, or in the
condemned cell and by that means have given me an opportunity of observing their
different disposition and of closely watching their actions. As to give a
finishing stroke to my little volume, I will give my readers a brief description
of the treatment of our convicts. Those class of prisoners who are sentenced to
penal servitude; they are kept in solitary confinement in cells ranging 12 feet
by 8 with a window of comparative size. Their furniture consists of: a hammock,
pair of sheets, two blankets and a rug, towel, table, stool, wash hand basin
(with water laid) on, two pannikins, a tin plate, a wooden spoon, salt cellar,
two combs, nail brush, a slate and pencil, two library books and a brush for
keeping his cell clean. Their food consists of (and which is liberal); they have
a pound and half of good white bread, two pints of gruel, made of oatmeal and
sweetened with molasses, 4 ounces of cooked meat without bone, and a pound of
potatoes. This is for 4 days of the week, the other three they have; a pint of
cocoa in the morning instead of gruel and a pint of good soup, in addition to
the above for dinner. Their labour is to keep their furniture well polished and
cell clean and pick two pounds of oakum per day. This is all the labour these
vagabonds are called upon to perform during their stay in the County Gaol, which
is often 3 months, previous to their being removed to the Government
Penitentiary. They become, as a matter of course fat, lazy and indolent and
often very saucy and refractory. I believe the rein is drawn a little tighter
when they are under Government, but by no means tight enough. You cannot wonder
at those villains resuming their old career of crime, when let loose on society,
such treatment has no terror for them in fact from my own experience, their
discipline is not so severe as a soldiers when on duty.
There are another class of prisoners, of which I must draw
your attention, these are the victims of the Police who are sent here on short
terms for assaulting them while in the execution of their duty. Now I have often
heard a great many prisoners declare that no assault what ever has taken place
by them. On the other hand they have been assaulted by the Police and 9/10 say
the same. To show that there is some truth in this statement, I will relate an
instance that occurred to myself by an over officious policeman. I was returning
home one night with my wife, from a friends where we had been to spend the
evening when I was accosted by a policeman hollering after us to stop. I did
stop, when he came up and wanted to know my business, I of course refused to
explain myself to him, so he abused me very much and talked of taking me to the
Station. I placed myself under his charge and insisted upon his taking me, for
what I am lost to conceive. My little spouse, here stepped forward, thinking she
was about to lose her bedfellow and nearly floored poor bobby by showing fight
in my behalf. It then became my turn to protect her, so I managed to get her
away by giving him my address and saw him the next day on his beat in my coat of
blue, when I demanded an instant apology from him to my wife and self which he
readily granted and this ended the matter. Had it been a person unacquainted
with their duties, most likely would have been locked up and punished. I merely
relate this to show how many of this class may fall victims through officious
and insulting Policemen.
In my debtors wards about this time is a new arrival just
entered with a bad leg. He appears to be a man of letters or else verses, for
ongoing through the wards, a few days after he presented me with the following
lines dictated to the Warders and debtors of Keens Hotel. This is the name our
establishment is known by among that class of prisoner. These are the characters
which seemed to have attracted this gents notice:
- Bateman who is the porter at the gate.
- Friar the debtors warder.
- Sargent the barber, who gives them a Turkish Bath in the shape of a pail
of water and the mop if required.
- Old Billy the messenger, whose clothes is so stiff with dirt, that he
cannot walk faster than four miles in five hours when in a hurry.
- And Mr. Keen, our governor who he styles as viewing the farm.
- Together with myself and the Doctor (I mean the Old Doctor who will
persist in having the gout). He is come back to pay me a second visit and in
my absence on this occasion, the Doctor had to respond to our worthy
Chaplain who was reading the usual morning Prayers in the infirmary, this
amused the writer of these lines so he commenced.
Hurrah, hurrah
for Keen’s Hotel
We poor debtors
know it well
Spruce & smart on
with bad tile
When the Sherriff
rings the bell
Enter into Keen’s
Hotel.
You may fret and
you may pout
The host he will
not let you out
Yet visitors from
nine till three
Come and go with
liberty
But when Bateman
rings the bell
Out they go from
Keen’s Hotel
Some prefer their
food to buy
Others don’t
perhaps you guess why
And they cannot
boil the pot
Because they have
no money got
Poor Old Billy is
no swell
The messenger at
Keen’s Hotel
Lonely does the
day appear when
The Sheriff drags
you here
When Old Friar
welcomes you
Nose and features
turn quite blue
What your
thoughts are who can tell
When you enter
Keens Hotel
Old and Young,
rich and poor
Enter through the
massive door
Breaking with a
gentle swing
As it coolly
shuts you in
Pace the passage
take a spell
You are a gust in
Keen’s Hotel
Strangely does
your bed appear
In you get with
dread and fear
Out you fall and
call for aid
Yet there comes
no chamber maid
Sargents mop and
pail, don’t do so well
As a chamber maid
at Keen’s Hotel
If your breakfast
you desire
Up at once and
light the fire
While the kettle
is getting hot
Go and empty the
chamber pot
This is done by
every swell
Who patronises
Keen’s Hotel
To the coffee
soon you steer
Eleven o’clock
brings the beer
Hand into your
pocket goes
Porter down the
throttle flows
Half an hour and
then the bell
Warns the beer
from Keen’s hotel
Mysterious men
with dark blue bags
Stuffed with
papers perhaps with rags
Holding
conference as they go
Solemnly their
noses blow
With a purpose
deep and Fell
To release you
from Keen’s Hotel
Now you hear the
turret clock
Striking out, its
3’clock
Male and Female
friends they go
Out with faces
full of woe
For J. Bateman’s
tinkling bell
Turns them out of
Keen’s Hotel
Pace the yard you
cannot tire
Six o’clock will
bring old Friar
In his sleeve he
laughs within
Turns the key and
shuts you in
Then you hear the
solemn knell
Strike each hour
in Keen’s Hotel
When the
watchman, comes his round
Steady on the
outside ground
Slow and sine the
cunning fox
Comes from out
the sentry box
Half past twelve
he cries alls well
In and Out of
Keens Hotel
Slumber will not
close your eyes
Visions strange
before you rise
Murderous
villains o’er you creep
To torment you,
while you sleep
Bound you are in
a deadly spell
When you sleep in
Keen’s Hotel
Of course next
day you feel quite ill
And go to the
surgeon for a pill
Others to kick up
a rout
The Doctor again
has got the gout
Infirmary are
very well
Especially in
Keen’s Hotel
Pains in the
stomach, head or ribs
Old Friar hand
you over to Gibbs
Who very quickly
makes you up
A dose of Doctors
nasty stuff
What diseases,
who can tell
Are spread abroad
in Keen’s Hotel
Now to the Parson
you must hark
And Gibbs, he
makes the Doctor clerk
A stout and
portly man of men
Who to each
prayer, suggest amen
T’is thus the
hours, days as well
Are passing on in
Keen’s Hotel
The host comes
round to view the farm
To see that all
is snug and warm
He does it with a
kindly grace
And pleasant it
is to see his face
Yet for all,
t’would be as well
To turn your back
on Keen’s Hotel
I have not
mentioned self, I beg
Complaint with me
is my poor leg
Now through our
daily course I’ve been
Another time I’ll
write again
In the mean time,
pray fare thee well
All ye who dwell
in Keen’s Hotel
These lines amused the Old Doctor amazingly and in his
glee, he made a drum of his snuff box by emptying it to stuff up his nose, which
seemed to hold an enormous quantity of black rappee and then tried to set music
to those lines by playing a tune on his box. I observed this same time, he
always played when the box was empty and his nose hungry, I found the poet and
the Doctor become very pleasant companions for many a dull hour have I passed
away in company with my two patients.
Our Surgeon to the Gaol, about this time, had given up his
private practice and sent me a few ornaments from his study to add to the
horrors of my surgery. They consisted of the casts of the heads of some of the
most prominent murderers that had been hung at this prison. Amongst them was the
head of an eminent Doctor now living; I received them and distributed them in
various parts of the surgery on shelves and the impression their woeful
countenances made on me after arranging them, caused me to dream of them that
night. As I have related, some of the many incidents that have taken place
during waking moments, I will just relate what took place in my dream. It may
interest my readers and serve to show how the brain wanders in it’s sleep, after
it has been impressed with horrible deeds during the day. In the surgery, the
place of rendezvous where my dream took place, stands an arm chair constructed
for the purpose of drawing teeth and in this I sat with my head firmly fixed and
my dream commenced.
The dream:
I thought the gas was alight but not sufficient for me
to see what was going on, so I endeavoured to rise to turn it on but found I was
firmly fixed in the chair when all at once down came the Doctor off the shelf,
turned on the gas and beckoned to Mr. Manning to follow. When down he came, the
Doctor examined his neck which had a deep impression on it where the rope went
round that he was hung with. The Doctor took from the shelf where the medicines
stood, an embrocation and applied it to his neck, which soon became alright and
he was told to stand aside. The Doctor then lowered the gas, when Mrs. Manning
flew down like lightening and implored the Doctor to exercise his medical skill
on her. So the old Doctor examined her neck and I suppose, thought pills would
be more beneficial to her, so he went to the drawer where we kept the pills and
took out a handful of poisonous ones and was about to administer them. I tried
to rise and prevent him, but found myself firmly fixed in the chair. I tried to
speak or to hollar but could not give utterance to a word. Here then was a
pretty predicament, so then I tried to wipe the perspiration from my forehead
but found the same spell had bound me and she swallowed the whole of the pills
which appeared to have the same effect on her as on her husband and she took her
place beside of him. The Old Doctor all this time kept winking his left eye at
me. Youngman then came down and tried the same means as the others, but the Old
Doctor would not have it for some time, but at last he gave in and went to the
blister pot, made him one and placed it on his neck at the same time turning
round and winking his left eye at me as much as to say he is scheming. So he
walked to the powder boxes and gave him a horn spoonful of Jalap and Calomel
looked round and winked his eye at me again. Soon after Youngman tried the
surgeons closet adjoining the surgery, but found it locked he then returned to
the shelf where he sang the following ditty:
Oh Doctor,
Doctor pity take
And cure me of
the stomach ache
For I shall
die if you do not
Provide me
with a chamber pot
The Doctor turned a deaf ear to his song looked at me
and winked his eye. Harwood and Jones, being hung together, of course came down
off the shelf together. Jones being the more powerful of the two, commenced to
perform in a pugilistic manner upon the Old Doctor for tarring out Youngman,
when Harwood took it up and a terrific encounter ensued. The Old Doctor standing
beside me winking his eye and seemed to enjoy the fun. After they had finished,
the Old Doctor strapped up Jones’s nose and put three leeches on the other one’s
eye and ordered them to take their places on the shelf, and Mr. and Mrs.
Mannering to follow, which they did. He then came to me, opened my mouth and
looked in. I tried to speak but could not. I tried to resist but still found the
same spell upon me; imagine my surprise when I saw him walk straight to the
drawer, where our surgeon kept his instruments and take out the case filled with
forceps for drawing teeth. He returned to me and commenced the top row and
pulled them all out, one after another. I still tried to resist, but found I was
fixed my readers may imagine the agony and terror I was in, while this operation
continued. I found he was not going to confine himself to my upper jaw, but was
commencing on the lower one, winking his left eye at me as he did so. I now
tried harder than ever to resist and to my great relief, I heard someone calling
out at the top of their voice, “Gibbs are you not going to get up today?” this
broke the spell and I awoke, but no sooner awake than I put my hand into my
mouth to feel if all my teeth were present. Finding they were all safe I pulled
myself together and found it was all a dream.
So now I have concluded my humble narrative, as far as my
memory will serve me. I beg that any readers will over look all mistakes from so
humble a pen and that my friends will not reprove me with ingratitude for any
exertions in trying to amuse them by relating the few little incidents that has
taken place in my life. My object in first commencing it, was to find food for
the mind, having so much spare time on hand and in this I succeeded for it has
been the means of my passing away many a dull hour in recalling the events that
have taken place from my childhood until the present time. And now I am just
off to spend Christmas and I trust that the roast beef and plum pudding will
digest easily and not leave me spell bound again, in the presence of the Old
winking Doctor.
THE END |